


Do as I Dare

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Gratsu [50]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Dare, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Memories, Missions Gone Wrong, Rivals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-03 01:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19453348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: It was terror that moved him forward because Natsu didn’t sound like himself. Too quiet. Too shaky, his voice cracking and breaking, as though he couldn’t quite hold himself together. It reminded Gray too forcefully of how the Dragon-slayer had looked when he’d collapsed on the ground, trembling violently, his entire body jerking as it tried desperately to cope with the foreign magic he’d just ingested.





	Do as I Dare

Gray had never liked the infirmary, and today it seemed more intimidating than ever as he hovered in the doorway, glancing down the corridor to where he could hear voices coming from Makarov’s office. He knew that he wasn’t supposed to be here. They’d all been told that Natsu wasn’t ready to have any visitors, but it was more than that… because he was one of the reasons that the Dragon-slayer was in there in the first place. _No, I am the reason._ He couldn’t lie to himself, not even in the safety of his own thoughts and he swallowed thickly as he stared at the door that was cracked open, no doubt so that Makarov and Porlyusica could hear if anything happened. It was also the reason he was hesitating because the room beyond was quiet and that scared him, because Natsu had been in the infirmary before and he had never been quiet about it, so for him to be silent now.

_What if I killed him?_

The question that he’d desperately been trying to avoid ever since Porlyusica and Makarov had disappeared upstairs and not returned rose now in the quiet. And it brought with it memories of snow and ice, and the looming figure of Deliora. He had lost his parents, who had tried to protect him. He had killed Ur because he had tried to get revenge. Had he lost Natsu too? All because of his temper, and a stupid dare that he had regretted the moment the words had left his lips? The quiet seemed to be an answer in and of itself, wrapping itself around him, until he felt like he couldn’t breathe. _I didn’t mean to._ The other boy might drive him up the wall most of the time, and there was a competitiveness between them that he was determined to come out on top of, but he didn’t want Natsu gone. He hadn’t been in the guild long, but he had become part of the madness, and as much as Gray hated to admit it, he liked having him there.

“I c-can smell y-you Gray…” The quiet voice cut through his spiralling thoughts like one of Erza’s swords, deafening in the silence around him and for a moment Gray froze, not knowing what to do as a roaring sound filled his ears. “Gray?”

It was terror that moved him forward because Natsu didn’t sound like himself. Too quiet. Too shaky, his voice cracking and breaking, as though he couldn’t quite hold himself together. It reminded Gray too forcefully of how the Dragon-slayer had looked when he’d collapsed on the ground, trembling violently, his entire body jerking as it tried desperately to cope with the foreign magic he’d just ingested. That he’d eaten, because Gray had been taunting him about his obsession with flames, demanding to know why he didn’t just eat everyone’s magic and make their jobs easier. It had been a stupid comment, born of irritation and slight envy, because he was an elemental mage too, but he didn’t share the same bond with his ice as Natsu did with his fire, and as much as he hated to admit it, he worried that eventually, it would make him fall behind.

And so, he’d spat the words at Natsu, even as they dodged in and out of the enemy’s attacks, on a job that hadn’t even involved the Dragon-slayer, he’d just happened to get caught up in the mess on his way home from his own job. Not thinking anything of it, although his stomach had done a strange twist when he’d glimpsed Natsu’s expression out of the corner of his eye. But it hadn’t been enough to make him regret it, not really, at least not until a moment later when he’d thrown up an ice shield to protect them as golden light had rent the ground in front of them. His ice had held briefly, but then it had splintered and shattered, leaving them exposed and he had already been moving, reading to throw up a second one, when Natsu had lunged forwards. Not dodging the next attack, but meeting it head on, and for a terrifying moment, Gray had thought that was going to be it. That he was going to watch his rival die in front of his eyes.

Then he’d heard the same, strange noise that was halfway between someone slurping up their beer in the Guildhall, and a rush of air being sucked into a vacuum that he’d come to associate with the strange sight of Natsu devouring fire. Only this time, he wasn’t eating fire. Instead, he had his cheeks puffed out as he gnawed at the Heavenly body magic that had been about to strike them. For a moment he was frozen, caught between shock that the idiot had actually tried it, and disbelief that it seemed to be working. The disbelief had won and only grown as Natsu had gulped down the last of the magic, flashing him a grin, before he’d used his roar on the other mage. It was an attack Gray had seen him use dozens of time, and he’d always known that one day it would be something to be feared, but he was unprepared for the gout of flame that burst out. The heat was too much for him, forcing him to stagger back, ice spreading across his skin to try and protect himself and he flung up a hand to shield his eyes, as the world was filled with flame. It seemed to last forever, but it could only have been seconds before the fire died away.

There had been a channel scorched through the earth, and on the far side, he could only watch in stunned disbelief as the mage took a stumbling step forward and then collapsed in a heap, clothing smoking. He’d turned to Natsu then, not sure what to say and half expecting Natsu to be there dancing around triumphantly with that stupid grin on his face, smug in the face of his disbelief.

Instead, he found Natsu pale-faced and staggering, hands clasped against his stomach and he had just started to move, shock giving way to horror when the Dragon-slayer had collapsed. Falling to the ground in a crumpled heap, and making no effort to catch himself, and by the time Gray had reached his side he had been shaking violently, whimpers bubbling up in the back of his throat and eyes threatening to close.

“Gray!” Natsu’s voice, a little louder this time. A little closer to normal shook him out of his memories, and not knowing what else to do; he slipped into the room, trying to leave the door looking as though it hadn’t been disturbed.

The room beyond was dimly lit, but he could make out the figure sitting slumped against the pillows on the furthest bed and feeling as though weights were attached to his feet Gray began to walk towards him. Words and thoughts ran through his mind as he walked. He needed to apologise, even though part of him wanted to yell at the other boy for being an idiot and actually listening to him. While another part wanted to make Natsu promise not to do that again, because he knew that it would take him a long time to forget the sight of Natsu jerking and twisting on the ground or the way the Dragon-slayer’s body had grown chilly and lax against his back as he’d dragged him back to the guild.

However, when he finally reached Natsu’s bed, he found all his words deserting him. Natsu looked awful. His skin was pale, to the point that Gray felt like if he blinked, he would lose sight of him against the infirmary bedding, and there were spots of feverish colour sitting high in the Dragon-slayer’s cheeks, vivid against the white. He was still trembling, twitching every few seconds, and it was clear that the movements hurt because Natsu’s expression would tighten after each jerky motion, and his eyes, bright with fever, would dim for a second. Yet, he still managed a strained smile as Gray stepped into view.

It was the smile that broke Gray. Because he didn’t deserve that smile, he didn’t deserve to be forgiven for his part in this mess. _I could have killed him. I could have killed someone else._ The past and the present were blurring, and suddenly there were too many words rising. Apologies. Admonishments. And demands for Natsu not to do that again, and it came out in a garbled mess, as a sob wracked him, and he could see that he was overwhelming Natsu, who was staring at him wide-eyed, trembling hands fisted in the covers. But he couldn’t stop, as everything bubbled up at once, and he knew that he was spiralling, and beginning to repeat himself, but he just couldn’t stop. He had to make sure Natsu knew that this wasn’t what he’d wanted. That he wouldn’t do it again. That…

Suddenly a warm body slammed into him, and he nearly lashed out in response, before pink hair filled his vision, and he froze. Going utterly still as Natsu wrapped his arms around him. It was too warm, and Gray could feel the burn of the fever in the Dragon-slayer’s body like it was a candle flame being held too close to his skin, but he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. Natsu was trembling, the effort of moving clearly too much for him, and yet his grip didn’t waver, even as he toppled forward to bury his face against Gray. “I’m okay…” It sounded like Natsu wasn’t sure which of them he was trying to convince, and Gray abruptly realised just how terrifying it must have been from the Dragon-slayer’s point of view, and without thinking he flung his arms around Natsu to return the hug. It didn’t matter at that moment that they were rivals, or that he still needed to apologise properly, because Natsu all but melted into the hug, soaking up the offered comfort, and he felt something ease in his chest as he tightened his grip.

_I didn’t kill him._

_I haven’t lost him._


End file.
